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#770057 07/02/23 09:30 AM
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Hey guys...I love songs that progressively build in intensity and scope...this is what I wanted for this song...it's is a very old song of mine that I finally got around to recording...I'm really interested in your comments on the mix (what I could improve/fix, etc.)...so...if you do...thanks for listening and commenting...Dan

A Simple Song
https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14344706

Title: Simple Song
File:Simple Song.SGU
Key=Eb , Tempo 140, Length (m:s)=4:06
8 bar intro, 133 bar chorus, from bar 9 to bar 141. Repeat x1 chorus
Style is _STORIES.STY (Stories Guitar n Piano Folk Pop)
RealTracks in style: 2527:Bass, Electric, PraiseBreakBasic Ev 140
RealTracks in style: 890:Piano, Acoustic, Solo-Accompaniment PopLite Ev 140
RealTracks in style: 2934:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm FolkySync8thsFintan Ev 140
RealTracks in style: 2934:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm FolkySync8thsFintan Ev 140

I added: vocals, additional bass, piano, cello, strings, French horns, drums and orchestral ending (via Yamaha Genos)
Main Guitar pattern: Steinberg Granular Guitar Loop Set


Last edited by firesong; 07/02/23 10:01 AM.

www.soundclick.com/firesong
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firesong #770065 07/02/23 10:31 AM
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Dan, another outstanding song and vocal. The lyrics are very powerful and much needed in today's world.

As for the mix I have one very important thing to say, don't change a thing! Great dynamics with a very clever ending.

Loved it.


My dad showed me a 30-minute PowerPoint presentation of why one should always wear a condom during sex. They were all pictures of me!

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firesong #770087 07/02/23 12:18 PM
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Hi Dan ...

I agree with everything Mario said. He said it much better than I could have. And I, too, love songs that build in fullness and power. You aced that in this song.

I always love your posts.

Simply wonderful.

Alan


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firesong #770186 07/04/23 04:06 AM
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Dan,

Another strong write.
The nylon loop works well.
Good arrangement, nice build.

For me (an important qualifier, of course), the mix is too Mid-heavy.
Everything seems to be in the middle of the EQ band - and mixed together, they get somewhat muddy.
Actually, "muddy" isn't the right word - so let's go with "heavy" (or "dark"?)
The combination of the vocal (nice!), nylon guitar and bass - they all seem to be fighting for the same space.
When the strings come in, they, too, seem heavy in the mid-range. (the strummed acoustic, also).
Maybe give the strings and that strummed acoustic a good deal of high EQ (drop out the bottom?)
...and maybe beef up the low end of the bass.
The vocal COULD have a bit more high-end (but that would depend on what other changes do...)
Stretch those frequencies out a bit to open it up.
Just suggestions, of course. And the next guy might tell you I'm full of it...

fj

firesong #770188 07/04/23 04:28 AM
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Dan,

Great song. Love your vocal. Really well done as always.

Much enjoyed.

Bob

firesong #770374 07/06/23 08:07 AM
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Dan,

There you go again posting some of the best sounding stuff on the forum! As for making any changes, I wouldn't have a clue of where to begin! It all sounds perfect to me! I was most of the way through before realizing that your usual large backing harmony vocals were not in this one, but your lead vocal carried things just fine on this wonderful song!

BTY, the acoustic fingerpicked guitar really came close to George Harrison's Here Come The Sun in places! This made me smile, even though unintentional, you probably gave someone hope for a workable cover of that great song!

Thanks, TB


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firesong #770423 07/06/23 05:49 PM
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Great production, your voice is amazing and you are using it well. Very glad I listened to this. You can quit your day job now.

Rick


It needs more cowbell!

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firesong #770432 07/06/23 08:15 PM
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Hi, Dan.

Well written, sung and arranged.

I can easily hear the vocal the entire way through, and there's nothing wrong with the mix. In fact, I like it a lot.

Now, what I might play around with... that's a different matter. laugh

How about doing a dryer version, without all that wonderfully lush reverb? In the beginning, you've got the fingerpicked guitar panned on both sides. You could instead start with the fingerpicked guitar on a single channel without the stereo effect.

Wait until the second verse to bring the guitar in stereo.

Take that huge reverb off your voice and place yourself into a room. You can have a touch of reverb, but aim at something that makes it sound like you're in a real location.

For the third verse, take out the guitars. They've already had their change to shine, and they aren't adding anything at this point. You're adding other things to the mix, and it's getting too busy. You need some rhythm, but something as simple as a shaker might do. You can back off on the reverb with the strings.

The low string bit is really nice, but giving it to a solo cello would be killer.

Then at 2:04 you can bring the guitars back in, and they'll be more than welcome.

At 2:38, you get the payoff for taking the reverb off your voice. With just the strummed vocal, the vocal becomes much more intimate and close - fitting the idea of a "simple song". I love how light the high strings are when they enter at 2:48.

At 3:12, the midrange string part is getting in the way. Too much reverb on everything. The high strings and horns on the bottom are enough.

I really like the ending.

Those are some thoughts, and worth less than you paid for them. Ask me at a different time and I'd probably say something else. wink


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
firesong #770445 07/06/23 09:26 PM
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The vibrato on the 1st two lines of each verse seem a little overwrought or uncontrolled - a bit like Springsteen's Thunderland intro but warbly ...sounding weak rather than charming and the bucket of reverb accentuates this.
Those lines would, to me, sound ace if almost whispered.
"It had such simple words...such a childlike rhyme" reads well but using A rather than a makes it less childlike and more affected.
I agree with Floyd about the mid "mud". I think picking a couple of those elements and removing some of the overlapping freqs would see you right.
I really like the spoken/whispered ending though the strings seemed to wimp out as they faded.
Cool melody & that last section did live up to your description of building intensity.

Last edited by rayc; 07/06/23 09:26 PM.

Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
firesong #770461 07/07/23 02:53 AM
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Wow, what a terrific song, and some great suggestions. I always like to hear the choices the creator made in the creation and production in a song, but I can't wait to hear how you would incorporate some of these suggestions. I really really like the way it is now, and the way you build it, Dan. I was going to highlight some of the suggestions I liked, but will leave that to you. As always, I will remember them when making my own music. The folks on this forum are really so good at this, and there is much to learn.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

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firesong #770484 07/07/23 05:21 AM
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Hey this is great Dan!

Love that style you are using. I made a note of it! May use that one myself!

Beautiful song, sir.

smile

firesong #770507 07/07/23 08:56 AM
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This is really nice. Lots of interesting things going on.


You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
firesong #770546 07/08/23 12:16 AM
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Hello Dan
very good song
Sounds great
And your singing is extremely good (as always)
Everything fits very well together
Many Greetings Dan
Andi ;-)

firesong #770738 07/10/23 04:39 AM
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We like the arrangement and are always impressed with your seamless additions of your performances with the BiaB tracks.

The vocal sounds heartfelt and we, like many others, like the ending whisper.

It was definitely a good old song to “dust off” and bring to light!

We enjoyed it.

J&B

PS Regarding the mix ... once a production exceeds four or five instrumental tracks our mix notions aren't helpful as our efforts are essentially based on what we perceive a 4-5 person group could do live. We do enjoy denser and more lush productions but critiquing them is above our mixing pay grade smile We liked what we heard.


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If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks!
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firesong #770755 07/10/23 05:51 AM
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Hey guys...thanks so much for your thoughts and comments and suggestions...this is one of those songs that may get remixed a dozen times before I can "live with it" (if you know what I mean)...but I really appreciate your suggestions and plan to use many of them to settle some issues I think still exit...so thanks again!! Dan


www.soundclick.com/firesong
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firesong #770784 07/10/23 10:39 AM
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Dan, sometimes the simpler the better. Great melody and sincere vocal.
The only thing you may consider changing down a little is the amount of reverb.
Lovely song.

Vic

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